This past week has been quite a rollercoaster of emotions and reminders. Last week I attended the farewell service of my lil guy’s daycare teacher. Her passing was unexpected and when I found out I was in shock. She had been a part of my son’s life since he was 10 weeks old (he is 3 1/2 now). We had not seen her in over a month but I know she was waiting for him to return once I found employment. She adored him and was always so attentive and loving towards him and all her kids. She was truly an Angel on Earth. At her service, everyone that stood up to say a little something about her remembered her in the same loving and selfless light. What a beautiful legacy she left behind. I left her service with tears in my eyes but I was quickly reminded as I felt the warm light of the sun on my skin and the glare of the rays in my eyes…I AM ALIVE! As I walked to the car, I couldn’t help but wonder, what legacy will I leave behind? What have I done? Have I made lasting, loving and positive deposits into others lives?
Then this weekend my little family and I headed up to Orlando for my bonus daughter’s Open House at UCF. There we all were…hubby, our almost 14 year old, our 3 year old and our soon to be college kid. Where have the years gone? After the tour we sat over lunch and discussed all the amazing opportunities she has ahead and then looked at our calendars to realize we only have 4 more weekends like this one before she starts her first Summer semester at UCF. Here’s the down side of divorce, we have shared custody of our older kids. We have them throughout the week and every other weekend. It’s been this way since the beginning, almost 8 years, but for the first time we are facing the reality that all this will soon change. Yes, we have tried to raise our children to be independent and successful and we truly rejoice in the fact that our once lil miss has grown to a beautiful, smart, and goal-oriented young lady. However, it doesn’t take away the fact that our little family unit will be changing and our scheduled weekends together, family vacations and weekday dinner times will soon be minus 1. So again, as we drove back home, I couldn’t help but wonder, have we planted the right seeds in our children’s lives? What can we do for these last 4 weekends together that will create lasting memories? I know it’s NOT our last weekend EVER, but the reality is that as our kids grow and they go off to college and begin their own lives…things change and we as parents no longer have complete control. So now our lives revolve around the time we have left, the time we still have a LITTLE control over (yes, just a little because she is a teenager and as much as we may want to be together as a family, she prefers her friends and her boyfriend…yes that dose of reality SUCKS).
And all this shared to remind us all that life is SO short and we don’t know when our time may end and the curtains will close. When you take the time to be honest with yourself and reflect on what you have done, whose life have you positively impacted, what do you want others to remember you by…what does that heart to heart conversation sound like? As you’ve moved through the different “acts” in your life, your role as a daughter, son, sibling, spouse, parent, friend, aunt or uncle…have you enjoyed each role to the max? Have you been extraordinary or have you underperformed? Every act has a beginning and an end…before the curtain closes, how will your “performance” be remembered?